Hallie Hovey-Murray: How I overcame autism
The following first appeared in the April 14, 2016 edition of The Richmond (VA) Times-Dispatch
By Hallie Hovey-Murray
 Hallie Hovey-Murray |
Hi, my name is Hallie and I have autism.
Let me explain.
When I was a kid, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, an Autism Spectrum Disorder, and it was something that I struggled with throughout my childhood. I was socially awkward and didn’t have a ton of friends. I acted up in class because I didn’t know how to react. As a result, I missed most of elementary school.
Once I was able to go to school, in the second half of fifth grade, I was placed in special education classes despite reading at an advanced level. Even after I was placed in “normal” classes in sixth grade, my parents were told that I might have to remain in high school until I was 21 to learn necessary social skills. They were also told it was “unlikely” that I would ever attend college.
Today I am set to graduate from Southern Methodist University at age 20 and plan to attend William and Mary Law School in the fall.
Through a lot of work, a lot of prayer, help from teachers and librarians (always my favorite adults), my middle school counselor, and my high school principal, and years of theater classes, few people even know that I have a diagnosis.
I’m also not a social outcast. I’m in a sorority. I’m the president of SMU speech and debate. I dabbled in Division 1 athletics as a woman’s rower. I’ve completed internships with success. In short, I am not just a kid with an IEP and hovering parents anymore. I am a successful woman who happens to have autism. It does not define me and doesn’t hold me back.
Please know that people with autism are just people! We laugh, we cry, we watch bad television, and we have hopes and dreams like everyone else.
Sometimes you may not know that someone has autism unless they tell you. Regardless of whether being on the spectrum is obvious to others or not, autism is only a small part of who that person is.
If you’re a family member of someone with autism, know that a diagnosis does not define his or her future.
I had parents who pushed me, instead of infantilizing me based on a diagnosis. Autism is harder than you can know at times, but simply telling someone that they can achieve their goals and that they can live a productive, amazing life can mean everything.
In a world where students with autism are constantly told their limitations and their differences, someone who believes in them can be all the difference in the world.
If you have ever (no doubt in a weak moment you now regret) made fun of or bullied someone with autism, now is the time to make amends.
If you have ever been guilty of what President Bush called the “soft bigotry of low expectations,” now is the time to make up for it.
This April, try not to judge a person by his or her disability or by a diagnosis, whether it’s autism or anything else. We are all created in God’s image and, because of that, we are all exceptional. We are all here for a reason.
This month, I encourage you to encourage someone who is struggling. I challenge you to stop looking at the disability and start looking at the person. I urge you to stop stereotyping.
Lastly, I implore you to look at the worth of people with disabilities, instead of the burdens of the disability.
To every child with autism or another disability who is going through some of the same things that I went through: Know that you are loved, that you are important, and that you are here for a reason.
Autism will not define your life unless you let it. If people are telling you that your diagnosis makes you anything less than worthy, tune them out. They are not worth the time.
You have so much to give to the world. Fight for your dreams. They are achievable, no matter what people may tell you. One day, it will not be your diagnosis, but your actions that people will define you by.
Remember, differences are what make us great. It would be an incredibly boring world if we all were typical.
Have a happy Autism Awareness Month!