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9/26 || 10/2 || 10/11 || 10/23 || 11/7 || 11/10 || 11/17 || 12/1 Feedback & Questions    12/1 Well, I'm trying to take good care of myself once again. It's kinda difficult because I'm still sick w/ my allergies, but I'm doing well considering. Exercising (jogging) is difficult because I am still sick & haven't done it in about 2-1/2 weeks. My clothes are all tight which is hard to accept. They were loose after I got my wisdom teeth removed. I'm trying to convince myself that it's okay & what matters is that I'm making strides to feel better ... I don't really have any desire to binge anymore. That is. I'm not hungry in the slightest bit. I'm just a little sad about how I've spent the last 3 weeks. But I can't change the past. I'm moving forward despite my weight gain & I'm trying to focus on the positive things such as I'm no longer puking. I'm not severely restricting. I'm trying to eat healthy foods instead of just yogurt, I'm trying to focus on nourishing my body instead of feeding my soul w/ food. I've come out of this & I'm doing good at forgiving myself. I'm trying to look at my body through loving eyes & accept & be happy w/ it. I'm wearing a belt w/ my jeans. I'm exercising, showering & wearing makeup. I'm spending time w/ friends & taking initiative to call them. I'm serious about my school work & am approaching exams positively. I'm not overwhelmed. I went to my 1st E.D. group meeting last night & talked w/ other women w/ my problem. I'm doing good at discarding my negative thoughts & trying to be my best friend instead of fight w/ myself. 12/6 As I flip to find one blank page I skim over the words I've written over the last couple of months. It's weird. Here I am. Full as I can be. Fat as ever. It sucks, but I'm still learning & making progress. My (therapist) is awesome. She's really helping me through this. She's helped me realize so much: I'm not back at square one, I'm in the middle of recovery the hardest part. I've quit smoking, drinking, purging, restricting ... all my defenses have been taken away. I'm holding onto food for dear life. It's time to start to let go. It's normal that I would want to hold onto food. I have nothing else to use. I'm an incredible person w/ tons of strength, insight, etc. I need to feel my feelings & get comfortable with doing that. It's incredible that I've made it thru this semester w/ everything I've been dealing with (And I even have good grades!) I have to strengthen that voice inside me that is positive & loving I must stop Negative thinking for my own survival. Weight is no longer an issue. It's about feelings. If people judge me by my weight they should not be a part of my life.